TheResignationLetter_FeaturedThe following short story takes place before Hollow Earth Expedition: Beneath the Mummies Tomb.

Franklin Strauss, tinkerer, scientist and madman, sits in front of a old mahogany desk, pondering a piece of paper.  Some would call him distant. Most would call him mad. All would call him out on his poor reception of criticism. But without knowing the thoughts rolling in his troubled mind, can anyone really know the real Strauss.

Strauss picks up a pen and begins to write. What inspired words will flow from his mind?

“HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE …”

Strauss brings his head back, an expression of surprise on his face. He shakes his head and throws the paper away. A new sheet underneath is the next victim of his pen.

“YOU IMBECILES,

FOOLS, CLODS, MORONS, IDIOTS, IF I HAD YOU HERE I WOULD!!!!!!!!…..”

Again, Strauss brings his head back. The surprise becoming annoyance. He breaths, rips the paper anew, and tries again.

“To the esteemed, in some circles, men of the university,

If your education is any indication of the quality of the university, I am not at all surprised it is only 2nd in the world and that a tide of buffoons who call themselves students come to listen to you prattle on about your insignificant theories that have no….”

Strauss hand slams unto the table. Any semblance of calm now gone as his eyes seem to be pinpoints of rage. He closes his eyes and breaths. His hands, as if from long practice, reach down and grab a bottle of rum and a shot glass hidden beneath his desk. The next 30 minutes of drinking and ranting is both terrifying and incomprehensible as the words seem to permeate the walls, leaving stains no psychiatrist would ever touch. The rage over, Strauss brings his pen to paper and begins again.

“To the advisory board of this esteemed University,

I am Franklin Strauss, a name you know but don’t understand. You know it as words, an identifier. It is so much more. It speaks of genius and change. A name that will shake the very foundations of SCIENCE! and the world. The fact you don’t see this makes me wonder why men …. and sole woman……….such as your selves would be chosen to lead its money allocation for future grants.

Who are you men….. and woman……. to deny my grant. I have contemplated theories that would crush your minds and leave you the gibbering fools you pretend not to be. Apparently, only I see the truth of ancient Egyptians with hyper advanced technology far beyond our own as possible. No, as undeniable. But no, you look at me with disdain. Call my theories outlandish, foolish. HOW DARE YOU! I am your better by order of exponents. I don’t need your university to pursue my theory. I will bring the intellectual world on its knees without your meager educational system.

And if Ms. Rubia, who you chose as a member of your board for some inconceivable reason, dare says that I am simply leaving because she discovered my degrees may or may not be legitimate, I deny it. Those degrees were earned! SCIENCE! did not need me wasting time with my intellectual inferiors to get a simple piece of paper. Whether I got those papers through the “proper” methods or a fairly skilled forger in New York City, it shouldn’t matter to those who understand my genius.

Know then you fools, I am sending my resignation, not because you may or may not fire me, but because I choose to. I quit your pathetic halls and pursue SCIENCE!!!! and when i return, I will show you all! I WILL SHOW YOU ALL!!!!!

Your now and future superior,

– Doctor Ascendent Franklin Strauss”

Strauss smiles, stands, and puts on his coat. A small metal scarab poking out of one pocket. As he strides out, a booming laugh escapes his lips. The laughter sends a shiver down the spines of graduate students university wide. Strauss is coming!


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About the Author
Jesus “Arvandus” Rodriguez is the founder and website tweaker of the Fandible podcast. When he isn't out creating imaginary worlds for his players, he also runs a youtube channel where he writes short fiction in various fictional worlds. https://www.youtube.com/c/ArvandusTheStoryteller

5 comments on “The Resignation Letter of Professor Strauss

  1. Warren says:

    As per your question: yes, I enjoyed it and would like to see more.

  2. CallmeIshma3l says:

    What they said.

  3. Jake says:

    I too would like more narrated short stories, although this is not helping my problem of hearing everything Jesus types in Strauss’s voice.

  4. Syren says:

    He does seem to be Jesus’s id character as much as Barsha is to Billy.

  5. Arvandus says:

    Playing Strauss is oddly therapeutic.

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