A month after dealing with the former god of heroes, the pantheon of Louisville must contend with a new tide of uninvited guests.

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5 comments on “Part-time Gods Ep 2: Uninvited Guests

  1. To Captain Jesus Rodriguez of the good ship Fandible, and all who sail with her,

    Your games of Part-Time Gods are excellent, but you made one fatal mistake: you encouraged your listeners to write FILK songs in Chad’s honor. Go on. Scroll down. Look what you have caused.
    This song is rather like having the Order of Chad around: if you don’t put a stop to it in time, it just keeps getting worse and worse.

    Jesus, if you and the other Fandiblers ever decide to sully your lips by singing this travesty in-game, make sure that Chad’s mom turns up sometime around the third verse. Possibly with cookies. That’s in the rules of the song, it must happen. Roll a d100, if you get a number: Chad’s mom appears.

    Hugs, kisses & inappropriate touching,
    Pencil-Monkey

    CHAD IS OUR DEITY
    (To the tune of “The Lumberjack Song”, written by Terry Jones & Michael Palin)

    Oh, Chad’s our deity, and he’s just swell
    We sing his praise or he’ll give us hell

    CHAD:
    I pwned the n00bs, I caught them all
    With PokéBalls of brass
    When I throw down my d4s
    The nat twenties amass

    THE ORDER:
    He pwned the n00bs, he caught them all
    With PokéBalls of brass
    When he throws down his d4s
    The nat twenties amass

    Chad’s our deity, and he’s just swell
    He makes Darth Maul look like Tinkerbell

    CHAD:
    The Reddit mocked, and said: “Nerd babes
    are rare as not-gay elves”
    But I said: “Fiat X-Box”
    Now you play with yourselves

    THE ORDER:
    The Reddit mocked, and said: “Nerd babes
    are rare as macho elves”
    But Chad said: “Fiat X-Box”
    Now we play with ourselves

    Chad’s our deity, and he’s just swell
    toH! nuqneH juppu’ pe’el*

    CHAD:
    Now, some gods go: eight-uppercase-O!**
    “It’s wrong to masturbate!”
    But I made Croft and Tifa
    That’s why your Master’s great

    THE ORDER:
    Now, some gods go: eight-uppercase-O!
    “It’s wrong to masturbate!”
    But Chad made Croft and Tifa
    That’s why our Master’s great

    Oh, Chad’s our deity, and he’s just swell
    He sleeps at night, but he faps as well!

    END OF SONG (Because of Chad’s mom. Cue awkward silence & much shuffling of feet. Admittedly, the song is sometimes cut short by violent altercations caused by the sudden arrival of girl geeks from the Reformed Sisterhood of Chad, who schism’d from the Order because they believe the hymn “Chad Is Our Deity” is sacrilegious – and also, y’know, offensive.)

    *Transl. from Klingon: “Whoa! Hey dudes, come join us”
    **Or possibly even 😯

  2. Thelastarchitect says:

    Nicely done Pencil Monkey 😛

  3. Arvandus says:

    Indeed, Awesome Job Pencil Monkey. That song shall be sung SO SAYS THE BEAR GOD!!!! (Bear Chorus) RARGHHHHHHH!

  4. Barsher Da Barsher says:

    If someone can find a version of this song without the singing, I promise you a recording of Chad and his nerds singing this.

    Chad’s honor.

  5. Glad you liked the song, but the Order of Chad would probably never pass up an opportunity to sing about their glorious leader; imagine at the end of the latest episode, when the gods had talked to Rarr and were heading out to look for the true culprit behind the latest chaos in Louisville.
    Chad would no doubt be tweetin’ and facebookin’ without even noticing it, along the lines of: “Met Rarr the bear god OMG pretty cool guy, maybe he should join my pantheon? ROL (roarin out loud)”
    And since the Order is continually monitoring every holy utterance dropped from the virtual lips of their blessed leader (including the Three-Fold Diurnal Sacraments of Chad, AKA the Eu-Chad-rist, i.e. his Instagram folders of breakfast, lunch & dinner snapshots), they would immediately pounce on such vital information as a possible new god joining Chad’s Fellowship (Faith-o-ship? Faith-shipping?!).
    Who knows what weird tunes they might chant?

    http://youtu.be/7MUne_zNITU

    Possibly even dressing up in ill-fitting ewok costumes and doing choreographed dance moves.
    And later, just as the part-time gods prepare to face down the boss monster and are sorely outmatched, the door bursts open and Rarr charges in, bears in tow! The gods quickly realize that he’s not there to save the day; in fact, he’s bawling his head off, violently upset about a video link someone sent him on his Blackbeary.
    Cue everyone turning to look at Chad, who’s blushing somethin’ fierce. 🙂
    (Note: If anyone decides they want to try actually singing the Bear God Song, and they have a group of, oh, picking a number at random: 5 people, it would probably be easier if they designate one person (i.e. “the Chad”) to sing the chorus, with the rest of the group acting as the backing bear chorus; otherwise, it will probably be hard to include the bear chorus lines, since the timing is rather tight.)

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