That. Was. Bloody. Brutal.

We always like a challenge here at Fandible, from complex game mechanics, strange settings to beta testing indie games, we’re willing to throw ourselves at any gaming obstacle in sight. When a British Podcast, The Cult of Tea and Dice, engaged us in a friendly wager of “who can imitate the other podcast’s accent the best” (which is already ridiculous because we don’t even have accents) we knew it was “go time.” So, Fandible embarked on a linguistic journey across the pond and all over the United Kingdom, compiling everything we knew about their speech, mannerisms and way of life into what can only be described as not only a Role Playing podcast, but one of the finest pieces of sociological observations of a people this century.

It was also a goddamn slog.

The setting was simple: We all play pets of English people on a train to the Orient. Using the Fate system, we had the maneuverability to create any character we desired. We wound up with two birds and two dogs, which may say a lot to the kind of characters we often play: Angela and I were beautiful and manipulative avians, and Billy and Dan were four-legged piss factories steeped in loyalty. With these concepts in mind, we felt ready to attack this challenge head-on. Then, things got complicated.  

Look, we don’t do anything half-assed (or half-arsed) here at Fandible, and so when we took up the challenge we were prepared to do the kind of voicework that would make Sir Patrick Stewart openly weep. Then Billy laid down a gauntlet like no other: We would never break from our British dialects and would eradicate our American “accents” all together for the recording, assigning a different accent for our animal characters, our out-of-character personas, and for the humans that owned the animals in question. We were intrigued, and we agreed. Holy balls was that a mistake.

We pride ourselves on our role-playing acumen, and made the best of this brain-bending attempt at Monty Python-esque character acting. Billy and Angela took us to task with their strict reminders of the parameters of the challenge, and Jesus engaged in a “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego” dialectal globe-trotting. Needless to say, were were stretched to our limit, and forced ourselves to the grueling finish line, at times motioning to our storyteller that he should “wrap this bollocks up or we’ll show him a proper clobbering.” Is that accurate in British terminology? At this point, bugger off if it isn’t, you sodding wanker. Tea time. Big Ben. God save the Queen.  

So Fandible arrived at the end of our experiment exhausted (and honestly sick of what we had previously considered “sexy” accents) with a newfound respect for our British counterparts across the pond. (Again, their podcast is The Cult of Tea And Dice, and you should give them a listen.) But, as with so many other things related to America vs. The UK, we won, hands down. Pound for pound, as it were. There’s the Brexit- Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out. Also, thanks for the Beatles.

So what about you? Has there ever been an accent that you loved to use for a character? Are you from an area that has an accent that often gets emulated with disastrous results?

Finally, what would you say “…before I kill you, Mr. Bond”?

Let us know in the comments below, and listen to the adventure in question, Fate: The British Life of Pets!

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About the Author
David is a human, standing at average human size with human features. He is not an android, that would be ridiculous. He is fond of horror movies, so-bad-it’s-good movies, stand-up comedy and humor sometimes inappropriate for a given setting but within the accepted parameters of average human interaction. David reads H.P. Lovecraft with human eyes, speaks about Cyberpunk with his human mouth (using vocal chords, not embedded speakers) listens to podcasts with his human ears and typed this from an undisclosed location with his human hands. He was created in New England.

8 comments on “That. Was. Bloody. Brutal.

  1. Gordon Duke says:

    Thoroughly enjoyed listening to the episode, well done.

    Accents, and even just maintaining voice for a character is always a problem for me. In normal life I find myself half slipping into and out of bad accents without thinking about it, and when I make an effort in a game, etc. I find I have a truly horrendous case of wandering accent , or as I believe it is clinically called, Christopher Lambert syndrome.

  2. Cayce says:

    Sadly, I cannot do accents, though someday I will learn how to change the morphology of my voice!

    So for now I will simply say “You may kill me, Human David, but you will never kill Bond. Jane Bond.”

  3. Fairystail says:

    Wish I could do accents.
    If I ever get the time or money I may take a voice acting class to better my gming.
    I have all the works of Edgar Allen Poe. I will make you listen to me read them out before I kill you Mr Bond. Or if you prefer I have the manuscript to the My Immortal Fanfiction

  4. Tyler says:

    Checked out Cult of Tea and Dice but their download links don’t seem to work. Looked interesting though.

  5. MDMann says:

    You do Dick van Dyke proud…
    Challenge: Yorkshire accents
    A sodding wanker would involve some contortions (it is accurate)

    As first Brexit:

    Brit: you watch, no one can f@ck themselves like us!

    American (before the election): Hold my beer….

  6. Grant says:

    Your accents were great!

    How did/do you learn the accents? I’ve seen some apps around that offer to teach accents, and I’ve often been intrigued (but not yet enough to pony up the monies).

  7. Dave says:

    Don’t spend money. I recommend watching films and television shows or listening to podcasts/news from the country in question. YouTube is the greatest source for free lessons on accents, just search for “how to do a(n) _____ accent” and you’ll find something. Fair warning: The comments on these instructional videos will always declare these accents horrible and false and absolutely nothing like the real thing. Alas, we are role-players, and can only do so much.

    Thanks for listening!

  8. I come from a bit of an acting background, and I’ve always enjoyed doing accents and voices. I currently run a Vampire the Masquerade chronicle for a group of eight players, and I try to give every important npcs a singular accent or voice..

    It’s flipping exhausting. Russian, German, Spanish, Mexican, French, New York, New England, Texas, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, California, South African, Irish, Italian, Scottish, Cockney, London… And then male and female voices, speech patterns, mannerisms.. Occasionally, near the end of a longer session or something, I do have to tell the group i’ll have to present a character sans voice because I just don’t have it in me anymore..

    The new challenge that’s been popping up is when I ask a player to describe a new npc. Then I get to come up with voice and mannerisms on the spot work no prep work.

    As exhausting as it is, it’s fun as hell, and I wouldn’t trade it!

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